My ex is allowing to children to make up their own minds about seeing me and not supporting the legal arrangement. They

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Customer: hi
JA: Hi. How can I help?
Customer: my ex is allowing to children to make up their own minds about seeing me and not supporting the legal arrangement
JA: What steps have they taken? Have they filed any papers in family court?
Customer: they just refuse to come
JA: Family law varies by state. What state are they in?
Customer: ah is this site american
JA: Is there anything else the Lawyer should know before I connect you? Rest assured that they'll be able to help you.
Customer: we are in Auckland New Zealand so maybe unable to help
Answered by Chris The Lawyer in 25 mins 6 months ago
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Chris The Lawyer
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Chris The Lawyer, Expert

Hi My name is ***** ***** I am a New Zealand lawyer based in Wellington with more than 42 years of experience. I am here to help with your questions.
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Chris The Lawyer, Expert

How old are the children? Do you have court ordered parenting arrangement?

Customer
Hi Chris, they are my partners children. 13 and 14.
Customer
We have a court agreed arrangement, which isn't being meet. The mother let's the children decide and supports whatever they want.
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Chris The Lawyer, Expert

The usual age is 16 although at these children’s ages their wishes should be taken into account although the parents can still decide and they need to do as the parents direct



Customer
The agreement was made in court last year.
Customer
My partner is taking it back to court with a warrant for the younger child. The older girl generally comes, but decided at the last minute not to come for xmas and the holidays.
Customer
Is it even worth taking back to court
Customer
The younger one was suppose to have counselling as ordered and agreed by the court, but the mother rang the counsellor and said she didn't give her permission.
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Chris The Lawyer, Expert

Was there a lawyer appointed for the children? That can sometimes help to sort these issues. But the mother has an obligation to comply with the order and that means the child should be told to go, and the counselling should take place, as it is not the mothers say on whether a court order should be obeyed

Customer
there was and the agreement that was made included the child lawyers feedback.
Customer
We have not seen the younger child for over 6 months
Customer
now the older child believes she can choose to do what she wants on the holidays regardless of the agreement because the mother says its up to her.
Customer
My partner has not spent Christmas day with his children for 3 years now
Customer
Is this worth going back to court for
Customer
My partner has submitted a warrant for the younger child but because of Covid it has been delayed till January. Now it seems the older child is starting down a similar path. I've heard the courts will not really do anything and my concern is continue to push and the its all for nothing.
Customer
we continue*
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Chris The Lawyer, Expert

The lawyer for the children would normally help but of course they are likely to be closed as are the courts until next week. If the children have been coached into refusing to go to see their father, then it can be hard to progress this. That is hard for any father to accept, and you might find the court and the judge are sympathetic if the mother has in fact coached the girls to refuse to see him. Sometimes the judge will speak to the girls directly to find out if they have been coached or whether they genuinely don’t want to visit. The lawyer for the children would usually be able to see if that is the case. If they hold genuine views that they do not want to visit their father, then there isn’t much which can be done unfortunately 

Customer
Thanks appreciate the response. The judge spoke to the girls last time and said she didn't hear any legitimate reason for them not wanting to be with their father. It doesn't sound like he will get very far with a warrant.
Customer
It's a shame NZ law doesn't see the value in children having a father in their lives.
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Chris The Lawyer, Expert

It may be the mother is coaching them. It won’t help now, but in my experience that sort of thing is likely to backfire on the mother in years to come, but you can still push for the warrant 

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Chris The Lawyer, Expert

This must be tough for him-let me know if you have more questions

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