My step daughter who is 12 years wants to live with us and her dad but her mum won't allowe her. We live in different

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Customer: Hi my step daughter who is 12 years wants to live with us and her dad but her mum won't allowe her . We live in different cities
JA: What steps have your stepdaughter and her father and her mother taken? Have they filed any papers in family court?
Customer: No
JA: Family law varies by state. What state are they in?
Customer: Nz
JA: Anything else you want the Lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: My step daughter use to live with us when she was 9 years old. Her mum sent her here because of personal reasons because of their poor relationship than she decided after some time she wants to try living again with her mum because her mum was trying to attract her back
Answered by Chris The Lawyer in 12 mins 2 years ago
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Chris The Lawyer
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Chris The Lawyer, Expert

Hi
I am a New Zealand lawyer based in Wellington and will help you with your question today. Please give me a minute to read the question

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Chris The Lawyer, Expert

The first step you might want to try is family mediation. You can contact a family mediator through Fairway Resolution will appoint an experienced mediator to try and work out the parenting arrangements. It might be useful to also ask about having a voice of the child as part of the mediation. That person will interview your stepdaughter and share her views with the mediation. If this mediation doesn't work, you would need to apply to the family court for parenting orders

Customer
Thank you for your response. We live in Auckland. When my stepdaughter Isabell was 9 years old at the beginning of my relationship with her dad her mum sent her here to live with us because their relationship was not good and the poor child was very traumatized because of what was happening there she sent her here for her own personal reasons. Her mum sent her here and gave us no choice. And after a short time she started messaging isabell saying how much she missed and loved her and wanted her back . After a few school holiday going there she came back upset saying she wanted to try living with mum again. Because when she was there in kerikeri with her mum, her mum would organize seeing her old friends and talk about her friends at school and tried to make her want to be back. Here of course she wasn't 100% settled being here in a new school and making good friends as she came mid term not start of the year. On top of this she had to witness some arguments between me and her dad because her mum was causing issues between us all making everyone feel unsettled in our life's.
Customer
During this time my partner and the ex isabells mum did go for mediation but nothing was sorted really . We didn't hold back isabell when she said she wanted to live with mum again. But now after 2 years every school holiday she is upset going back and says she wants to stay here. And I encourage her to talk to her mum about those feelings but her mum ignores it and says you will see your dad soon and just tries to keep us away. I know isabell needs stability but she says she wants this here once and for all . We wouldn't stop her going over if they asks to have her extra time during holidays or weekend, she can keep in touch with friends and everyone there. I guess my question is we don't really have money to spend going court and just wanted some advised with a 12 year old who wants to live with dad ? Do you think it's something that family court would consider
Customer
I think because her mum sent her here from a young age now she knows what life is here like. She says it's not to do with auckland being a bigger city or activities and things that are here ...it's because of the family. The family we have here
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Chris The Lawyer, Expert

Those are matters which will help but if mediation isn’t possible (and I still think you should try it again) then you will need to go to court and present those issues.
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