I'm concerned for my girlfriend. I believe that she doesn't require an adult guardian and that she is being controlled

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Customer: I'm concerned for my girlfriend. I believe that she doesn't require an adult guardian and that she is being controlled like a child
JA: What steps has the guardian taken? Has she filed any papers in family court?
Customer: I believe that my girlfriend is afraid to express herself truthfully to them in fear of their retaliation
JA: Family law varies by state. What state is she in?
Customer: Edmonton Alberta Canada
JA: Is there anything else the Lawyer should know before I connect you? Rest assured that they'll be able to help you.
Customer: I believe that my girlfriends "guardians" are not allowing her to be an adult
Answered by Legal Ease in 2 mins 1 year ago
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Jessica

Jessica

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Legal Ease, Expert

Hello and Welcome to JustAnswer. My name is***** will be working on your question today and I am looking forward to our conversation.

Customer
Hello debra
Customer
I hope you can help
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Legal Ease, Expert

Please note that I am working from my computer and not actually texting. If you don’t answer back for a while I may not be online when you do but I will never desert you and will check back often. As well, as I am working from home it is possible that I will be interrupted but I will always return back as soon as I can.

Finally, although the site offers a call option I personally do not take calls but just work online. Some find this confusing as it looks like the offer is coming from me but that is just how the site presents the offer and it really isn’t coming from me. Some of the other experts do take calls and so you are very welcome to request a call on this post and an expert may take it. They will have the benefit of reading our exchange which should work out very well for everyone involved!

Customer
Underatandable
Customer
I'm not sure how much help you can give as you are American and I am Canadian
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Legal Ease, Expert

I know your question is important to you and I will be giving it the time and attention it deserves.

I am sorry to hear of this difficult situation.

How old is your girlfriend? If she's older than the age of majority do these guardians have a legal guardianship order over her?

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Legal Ease, Expert

I am Canadian.

Customer
She is 21 and from my knowledge that i got today yes they do
Customer
We have dated for a month and I have noticed a trend. On her days off there is almost no communication between us and honestly I do not even get to see her when she isn't on her way to work (3 days a week)
Customer
She will literally wake up almost the same time as I do just to be able to ride transit with me in the morning since I start at 7am and she doesn't start till 8am she has time to cross Edmonton on the bus with me from west to east and still make it to work on time
Customer
However when I am available after work and on weekends I am not allowed to see her
Customer
This has been putting alot of stress on your relationship to the point we almost broke up indefinitely.
Customer
Our* relationship (sorry auto incorrect acting up)
Customer
She tells me that she wants to see me more but is afraid that her guardians will discipline her and give away her dog (from my understanding i believe that her dog is an emotional support animal but that topic has yet to be discussed)
Customer
Debra??
Customer
I have been responding via the internet page
Customer
Customer attachment 7/30/2021 10:34:24 PM
Customer
She has expressed to me that she would like to be able to spend more time with me and occasionally spend a night sleeping over but her Guardians most likely would not allow this.
Customer
Hi
Customer
Hello??????
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Legal Ease, Expert

I will start reading all of this now. What happens is when you post continuously the site doesn't know when you're done and I'm never told that you're finished.

Customer
Oh. I am sorry just super stressed out
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Legal Ease, Expert

Can you please ask her if her guardians how can appointed by the court? Does she suffer from mental illness for example or does she have a developmental

Customer
This is information I am attempting to obtain from her but it is difficult
Customer
She got off work at 4pm and I have not received a response from her. We were on the phone but as soon as her biological father arrived to pick her up from work she hung up and hasn't responded since
Customer
I am not even sure she is aware of all the power her Guardians (grandparents) have over her
Customer
This is the information i was able to find about how much power her grandparents have over her.Types of decisions
Guardians can make personal, non-financial decisions about:healthcare
where to live
who to associate with
participation in educational, vocational and other training
participation in social activities
employment
legal proceedings
Customer
Regarding mental illness I have not witnessed any thing that most people don't deal with. I asked her today if she was on the spectrum for autism and she said no. As well as possible FAS but I dont see anything that warrants that possibility.
Customer
She has mentioned being depressed and about 2 weeks ago she called me after her best friend committed suicide on the other side of a locked bathroom door
Customer
She is also dealing with a court case regarding having her ex charged with sexual and physical abuse and that is stressing her out cause no one is really answering her questions
Customer
She says she isn't good at math ‍♂️
Customer
That was showed to be a shrugged shoulder emoji not the symbol for male. Lol
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Legal Ease, Expert

None of this makes sense. For her to have actual legal guardians they would have to apply to the court to have your girlfriend declared mentally incompetent and then for them to be appointed as her legal guardians. So that wouldn't make sense because you would see that she's not competent I would think and on top of that if she's living with the parents why wouldn't the parents be the guardian?

However, it may be that there is a trust set up and the grandparents are in charge of the trust.

Does that make sense?

Customer
She lives with her grandparents on fathers side. I can see the trustee status a possibility for the grandparents as girlfriend is still young and a bit naive at 21 and not fully comprehending the concept of a proper budget.
Customer
But even i at 21 was struggling to keep a budget
Customer
over my adult life I struggled with homelessness and keeping a job. In 2018 I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, Severe Depression and Severe Anxiety which puts my struggling life into a new light of understanding but I never had an adult guardian.
Customer
I have been fully self supporting for myself alone since summer 2020 and still on track with my second lease in a 2 bdrm basement suite of a house. I pay 1200 for rent and work as a red seal Reinforcing Iron worker (recieved my ticket in spring 2016)
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Legal Ease, Expert

Good for you. Maybe you can start to help her out but it looks like someone else is in charge of her finances right now

Customer
Thank you. And yes it looks like her finances are controlled by her grandparents but our first date she took us to the go karts in west edm mall without the grandparents knowing and they messaged her to stop spending money.
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Legal Ease, Expert

That sounds terrible.

When she is ready to move out of the house she may need to go to court if they have all her money.

Customer
This i am aware of and I am willing to assist her in the fight to gain her independence.I have offered to take her on dates and pay fully for them numerous times and have been turned down because she was afraid of her grandparents discipline
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Legal Ease, Expert

That is terribly worrisome.

Perhaps you should take her to a lawyer?

You can contact the Law Society and use their Lawyer Referral Service. You will be given the name of a lawyer and can consult with the lawyer and the first half hour will be free.

The number is:

1-***-***-**** or
***-***-**** in Calgary

Customer
Thanks for the advice. She has a lawyer already that isn't answering her questions. Might be difficult as well since when we are off work she can't really see me
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Legal Ease, Expert

Do why don't you make an appointment with her right after work and just go with her. She doesn't need to ask your grandparents if she can go out for an appointment after work when she's working and she's 21.

In most cases the appointment would be remote anyway. Perhaps you can even meet her at lunch during work and do that. I'm sure you can figure out some time to do a remote appointment.

Customer
The work at lunch part is one of our things when I get off early. I mon-fri am almost always working 7am-3pm and unfortunately her grandfather picks her up from work everyday. I have asked number of times to get her to tell him not to come pick her up just so that I can take her on a dinner date but she turns it down because of her grandfather
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Legal Ease, Expert

So why don't you make an appointment with a lawyer for 330 and she has to tell her office or wherever she works that she has an appointment to speak to your lawyer remotely at 3:30 for a half an hour and she needs that time off?

Customer
Too close to the time her grandfather shows up to pick her up. I tried last week to surprise her after work and her grandfather was waiting outside her work for 20 minutes before she got off
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Legal Ease, Expert

I'm not suggesting that you do it when she gets off work. I'm suggesting that you do it in the middle of the workday where she tells her employer she has an appointment with the lawyer for a half an hour over the phone or the web conference and you try to m

Customer
I understand what you are suggesting. Its difficult and its something I need to discuss with her before setting up
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Legal Ease, Expert

I hope things work out.

Thank you for trusting us to help you here at JustAnswer.   If you need more clarification or have a follow-up question just reply and we can continue our dialogue. If you would like to ask me new questions please start a new post and if you do if you say “This is only for Debra” I will be sure to give your post top priority.

Customer
Thanks so do you cause I dont want to lose her.
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Legal Ease, Expert

Of course you don't!

Ask a lawyer and get your legal questions answered.
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