My son is 8 years old, his father and I were never married and there has never been any legal proceeding regarding

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Customer: My son is 8 years old, his father and I were never married and there has never been any legal proceeding regarding custody. His father simply assumed custody 5 years ago and has held him ever since, granting me sporadic visitation with no schedule nor guarantee of visitation. He has determined that my rights go only as far as he chooses to let them and makes every decision regarding my son, even who he will live with when inconvenient for him to fulfill parenting obligations. I am overlooked in favor of other extended family members such as an uncle to provide home, food, clothing, etc and to carry out the 24/7 obligations just as a parent would. I've only recently learned that in Oklahoma I do have rights as his mother and have expressed everyway I can that I wish my child to live with me where he will actually be in his parents care with full attention to his needs. How do I proceed from here?
JA: What steps have you taken? Have you filed any papers in Oklahoma family court?
Customer: No
JA: Have you talked to a lawyer about this yet?
Customer: No, until now I was operating under the assumption that I had no options since he took physical custody because that is he's ever led me to believe.
JA: Is there anything else the Lawyer should know before I connect you? Rest assured that they'll be able to help you.
Customer: Yes, the issue that has prompted me research for myself what, if any, options I might have is that I have reason to believe that the care under which he presently resides is an environment that has brought about changes in my son that are deeply troubling as he exhibits behaviors that are not typical to his age and he is demonstrating in conversation and in play behaviors outside the realm of an 8 year old; highly inappropriate in every way, including explicit acting out of a sexual nature in the presence of myself and other adults, including male and female. The context of his conversations with me ranges from streaming profanity to delivering commands to me to perpetual argument, to direct opposition and defiance with no noticable indication of respect for authority figures. He finds irrational humor in every aspect that I've mentioned.
Answered by Stephen Loeb in 7 mins 7 months ago
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Stephen Loeb
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Stephen Loeb
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Stephen Loeb
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Stephen Loeb, Expert

Hello! my name is***** an attorney here at JustAnswer Law. I have been practicing law for 25 years in the Federal and State courts. JustAnswer is the preeminent online service for information regarding your legal issues. Your question is very important to us so thank you for using our service. I will try to provide you with the information you need quickly and thoroughly. If you have any questions or need any clarifications after I provide my response, simply just let me know and I will be happy to try to help you further.

I received your question and I reviewed it.

I am sorry you are dealing with this problem and I will try to help you.

This sounds extremely frustrating and stressful but there are potential options.

Please give me a few minutes to prepare an answer to your question and I will get back to you shortly.


Customer
Thank you
Customer
I'm unable to pay more at this moment and prefer to wait for your written response. Thank you.
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Stephen Loeb, Expert

You absolutely have rights.  As a parent you have a right to a court-enforceable plan with respect to the issues of custody, support and visitation.  Unless there are circumstances of provable abuse, both parents have a right to have a say in how their children are raised.  They also have a right to physically see and spend time with children.  Finally, both parents have an obligation to support their children to the extent that they are able to do so.  Considering the circumstances of how your children were raised, to change the status quo at this point will likely require a modification to what has occurred.  You would start by making a motion for a parenting plan if the other parent refuses to cooperate in establishing one with you.

Custody, support, and visitation orders are always open for modification based upon changed circumstances, but you would have to prove something substantially changed to justify the modification. You can explain your situation, and if the judge agrees that the modification is warranted, an order will be put into place changing the status quo. The burden is on the party seeking the modification. Absent anything life-changing it is difficult to change a finalized agreement but it can be done when warranted.

One thing to keep in mind, all consideration has to be funneled through what's best for the child. Whatever your desires, or changes you have made, or whatever relationship issues you may have with your ex, it is immaterial as far as the court is concerned. The only thing that matters is how the court is going to interpret it with respect to how it will or won't benefit your child.

You should consider hiring an attorney who is an expert in family law matters. Hiring a private attorney will go a long way in giving you professional representation who can look at your case, form a strategy and forward your best legal argument, It will also serve to make the judge and parties involved take your position more seriously should litigation become necessary.

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Stephen Loeb, Expert

I hope that I was able to answer all of your questions and concerns. Is there any part of my response about which you need clarification or further information?

Customer
There is no, nor ever has been a finalized agreement of any kind since there was no formal dissolution of a marriage as we were never married. I'm starting from scratch.
Customer
Do I begin with a Petition for Temporary Custody to take effect immediately and continued until a Finalized Agreement is in place?
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Stephen Loeb, Expert

Yes, I understand from the question that nothing is in place.  You could ask for a petition of custody, but I think in your case it would be best to file a motion for the establishment of a parenting plan.

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Stephen Loeb, Expert

Thank you for using JustAnswer. I hope I can be of service to you in the future. You can request a question and mark it "For Stephen L Only." That way it will be routed to me.

Here is my link: https://www.justanswer.com/law/expert-atty4u/?rpt=3800 and I will review it for you. Additionally, if you choose to do so, you can add me to your list of “Favorite Experts.”

I wish you well.

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