Morning, Do you even know if the court system is back in seeing people or still doing virtual hearings? Also I bet they

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Customer: Morning Debra,Do you even know if the court system is back in seeing people or still doing virtual hearings? Also I bet they are backed up big time . If my ex decides to take me back I’d assume it wouldn’t be till the new year!! I wish I don’t think about this stuff.... I’m truly hoping he doesn’t fight me over this and forcing his daughter to go see him. My daughter isn’t stupid... she told me that if her father serves me court papers she’ll be messaging him with anger, and that she stated it will just make there relationship worse. I swear I didn’t say that, that’s all my daughters opinions. She’s very mature for her age, probably more mature then her father and step mother!!
Answered by Debra in 2 mins 1 year ago
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Debra
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Debra
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Jessica

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Debra, Expert

Hello and Welcome to JustAnswer. My name is***** will be working on your question today and I am looking forward to our conversation.

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Debra, Expert

I know your question is important to you and I will be giving it the time and attention it deserves.

Sometimes responses and replies take time, so I ask you to be courteous and patient to allow me the time to type answers to you and also to others. At times I may even have to do some research.

I am sorry to hear of this difficult situation.

Can you please remind me of your city?

Customer
I take it you aren’t remembering me? It’s about my daughter who is 14 we have been talking for a days now.... I’m in Ontario Canada.
Customer
Peterborough/ Lindsay area
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Debra, Expert

Of course I remember you but I don't remember your city. I help about a  hundred customers a day and I can't remember everyone's  city.

Here is the answer to your query. Please do not hesitate to ask any follow up questions related to this response and know that I will respond as soon as I can.

There is no way to know now if your hearing will be remote or in person. The policy is that some are  remote, some are in person and some are handled with a combination of remote and in person.

So you can call the courthouse to find out how it will be determined whether you would be remote or in person and whether you can make a request to have in person if you prefer. I'm sure you can make a request to have it remote but I'm not positive about in person.

Does that help?

Customer
Geez 100 a day! That’s crazy!I’m not worried if it’s in person or not... just curious how backed up it could be since Covid.
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Debra, Expert

There is a terrible backlog but he will likely try to convince the court that this is an urgent matter. They will hear urgent matters in two weeks.

Customer
I don’t personally think it’s a urgent matter! She’s 14... there are far more worse cases and urgent matter then this. I think
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Debra, Expert

I know but if you are with holding the child when he supposed to see her the court will say it's urgent most likely. I know you're not with holding the child but that's what he's going to tell the court.

Customer
He can tell them all he wants. I’ll ask for OCL to be appointed to Makenna. And show them these videos. And CAS is involved too
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Debra, Expert

Yes. Do you have a quite excellent evidence because you're telling the

Customer
Hi
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Debra, Expert

the truth.

Customer
I am!
Customer
Would the courts even help me now if I called to see what my ex could do or if there’s anything I can do stating that she won’t be going there because she’s scared for her safety! I’m assuming I can’t ask CAS this?
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Debra, Expert

No you should not do and thing but see what he does.

Customer
Ok! Would you recommend that I should once again retain a lawyer or should I just fight this myself . If you think I’d win again. I don’t know if can afford it again. And I don’t know if I’ll be allowed to seek costs from him if I do get a lawyer
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Debra, Expert

I think that if he takes you to court you should retain a lawyer.

If you win in court he will have to pay a good part of your legal costs. I also think that if you got a lawyer he will see that you are going to fight him and win and he will stop.

Customer
I had a lawyer the first time two years ago when he tried to get joint custody but it didn’t work!
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Debra, Expert

I know. He will lose again.

Customer
Ya it never been seen with the judge my lawyer just talked to him and we dealt with it in person with my lawyer.... he never got him to pay for my cost though!!
Customer
Ohh you mean if it goes into the court he could end up paying?? Cause the last one wasn’t in front of the judge.
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Debra, Expert

If you settled the only way he would pay for your costs if he agreed but if you end up going to court and you win he will be ordered to pay a good part of your costs.

Customer
Ohh didn’t know that... well this time it’s going to the judge then! Ha his is ridiculous why I have to pay 10,000 when she’s old enough to make her own decisions.... I did read though that the OCL doesn’t cost anything for a child under 18? I was just reading on it. So maybe I should go that route if I get served and not use my lawyer
Customer
Or maybe I’m
Wrong! Ha
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Debra, Expert

You can't just choose to use the OCL. The court has to order it and then the OCL has to agree to accept it. It's not that simple.

Customer
Ohhh good to know... can I request a OCL Though? If I have to do make a response to the served papers if any?
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Debra, Expert

It is one of the orders you would ask the court to make.

Customer
I’m a bit confused what you mean. Is there a order sheet that would need to be filled out by my lawyer?
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Debra, Expert

When you are asking the court for orders such as to dismiss the father's application or for an order that the father only have access out in public for now etc. you would also ask the court to order the appointment of the OCL. So, for example, you could ask that the court order, on an interim basis that Makenna see her father at a park etc. pending the outcome of the OCL report and ask for the court to appoint the OCL.

Customer
I can ask to dismiss the fathers order if I get served! Ha
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Debra, Expert

Yes. You will absolutely do that!

Customer
I’m assuming I’d have to state my reasons if I do that?
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Debra, Expert

Yes. It would be a whole court case. There will be a hearing. The court will hear what the father wants and what you want and will make a decision based on what it finds to be in the best interests of the child.

Customer
Oh that makes me nervous.... it could be every other weekend with her staying overnight which is something she does NOT want... I still won’t be forcing her to go if she doesn’t want too if the outcome is that....
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Debra, Expert

No you won't and I am quite confident that if the father has any ounce of intelligence in his head he will speak to a lawyer and the lawyer will tell him that it's going to be a losing battle and he needs to back off and work on making his relationship with his daughter stronger rather than trying to compel her to see him when she doesn't want to.

Customer
Now that’s great advice!!! Wish you could be my lawyer lol
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Debra, Expert

Well that's very sweet but I'm sure you know that I am in Toronto and I'm also retired.

I really do love the Peterborough area and I have spent summers there about a decade or two ago.

Customer
I’m aware your retired! I’m just stating
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Debra, Expert

That's sweet!!!

Customer
I wish I could find a case law matter that similar to mine! Not sure how to use canlii that well.
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Debra, Expert

You can try using key terms such as teen refusing visit, teen's wishes, etc

Customer
Okay
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Debra, Expert

After you play around with it for a while you'll find that you'll be able to figure out the keywords on your own.

Customer
Okay I’ll try. Not sure if I’ll find anything but I know some lawyers use those case laws with there own court orders
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Debra, Expert

That's true.

Customer
My daughter isn’t stupid she’ll know if I get served papers from her father ... she has told me that I do she would txt her father saying “your only making this worse, and driving me away even more, why can’t you just respect my decisions”Do you think that’s something she shouldn’t do?
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Debra, Expert

I think she can say whatever she wants but I think you have to be careful so that the court or the OCL doesn't think that you're bringing her into the middle of this. The court will not tolerate that.

Customer
Oh no I’m totally aware of that.
Customer
She’s the one that brought it up if her father served me papers
Customer
But maybe I shouldn’t allow her to say anything then if you say that... they will wonder why she said that .. meaning they may think I told her about being served. Grr I don’t know anymore
Customer
I’m already stressing and it’s close to Christmas!! That be an another battle to get through since she doesn’t want to go there for her split Christmas! I may sound rude but she’s scared to go there then there won’t be any split holidays happening... again I’m not putting her into the vehicle and driving her to her fathers.... like what about her mental health and anxiety. Not thanks
Customer
I mean no thanks
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Debra, Expert

I do understand. So in my view you shouldn't let her know that the papers were served. It will be clear that you told her about that.

Customer
Right but eventually she’ll know.
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Debra, Expert

Well of course. And she will likely know as soon as they come but I'm telling you that she should not start mentioning it because the court is going to be angry at you and they will become biased against you. I've seen it over and over again.

Customer
Ya she won’t be
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Debra, Expert

OK

Customer
Are you meaning not to say anything now... or like if they serve me she shouldn’t say anything to them.
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Debra, Expert

I mean she should not make it look like she's included in all of discussions you're having with people and that she should not be involved in the legal process. She's told you that she will not see him. It is fine for you to tell her that you will take care of her and you will fight for her but you don't have to tell her all the details and she certainly shouldn't reveal that you're doing that because the court will become biased against you unfairly.

Customer
I understand everything your saying . Thanks
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Debra, Expert

You are very welcome.

Customer
Do you think CAS would of went to my ex’s house first ?
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Debra, Expert

I don't see what they would before they know the facts.

Customer
Just seems like forever that’s all. If she isn’t coming here till Wednesday then she won’t be going to my ex house till next week probably
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Debra, Expert

But Wednesday is only two days away. Why don't you start looking for a family lawyer tomorrow just in case you need one.

Customer
I have my lawyer that I used when he took me back two years ago. He already knows about what has happened and gave him the heads up... but... on that note... two years ago he didn’t even fight for Makenna to be there less .. not sure what to do. Look for another one or keep him since he knows all the history.. he had told me not to do anything until I hear from Mike. If he does and he also told me that I could be held under contempt but the courts would consider Makennas views. I just want him to actually fight this time that’s all she’s done, and those videos are really disturbing, well to me they are. I want makenna to choose when she wants to see her father , I obviously want her to have a relationship with her father but he did this to himself and if she rather just meet up with him and hang out for a few hours then so be it
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Debra, Expert

If you don't feel confident in your former lawyer then hire a new one.

Customer
Ya! Just have no idea who to use
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Debra, Expert

I don't know who you should use either. I am sorry about that.

Customer
It’s ok, I’ll figure it out
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Debra, Expert

I have no doubt that you will!

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Debra, Expert

Is there anything more I can help you with before I mark this question as complete?

Customer
Not right now. Thanks
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Debra, Expert

You are very welcome.

Thank you for trusting us to help you here at JustAnswer. If you need more clarification or have a follow-up question just reply and we can continue our dialogue. If you would like to ask me new questions please start a new post and if you do if you say “This is only for Debra” I will be sure to give your post top priority.

Although I can’t always give good news, I am direct and do my best to simplify things for people to understand.

Thank you very much!

Best wishes,

Debra

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