My recently estranged 16 year-old daughter has started spreading defamatory lies about me. Her lies have been written

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Customer: Second Opinion] Hello, my recently estranged 16 year-old daughter has started spreading defamatory lies about me. Her lies have been written (though I'm not sure if she has posted them online) and she has also spread her lies verbally. What courses of action can I take? JA: What steps have they taken? Have they filed any papers in family court? Customer: No, not yet. JA: Family law varies by province. What province are they in? Customer: Ontario. JA: Is there anything else the Lawyer should know before I connect you? Rest assured that they'll be able to help you. Customer: My daughter lives my ex and her boyfriend. My daughter and I had a big argument a little over a month ago and that is when she decided to leave (it involved me calling the police on her). She used to live a week with her mom, then a week with me before, as her 14 year old brother still does.
Answered by Ulysses101 in 1 min 1 year ago
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Ulysses101
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Ulysses101, Expert

Hello, thank you for the question.

Is there a custody order between you and the mother?

Customer
There is a separation agreement.
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Ulysses101, Expert

And what does it say about custody?

Also, a lot is going to depend on what she's saying, and to whom, and how (in writing? online? open to the public?)

Please tell me more without using details that will identify anybody.

Customer
The separation agreement states that custody is shared 50/50 between me and my ex, with the children (the 16 year old daughter and our 14 year old son) living one week with me and then the next week with their mom.
What she is saying is that I sexually molested her when she was 6. This is 100% untrue and came out of the blue after I had to call the police on her and have her removed from my home. She has put this in writing to me (not a 3rd party), but I'm not aware if she has posted anything publicly online. She has verbally said this lie to a social worker, her mother, and her mother's boyfriend.
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Ulysses101, Expert

This will go a lot better for you if you two parents are able to discuss it rationally. How are you and your ex?

Customer
Not good.
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Ulysses101, Expert

Were you and your ex together when your daughter was six?

Customer
Hi
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Ulysses101, Expert

OK, that helps you because if the child alleges that you abused her while you and her mother were together, then the mother is involved in that allegation.

It may be time to write to the mother, and be civil and respectful, reminding her that you two have shared custody. Tell your ex some of the things that you're hearing, in case the mother doesn't know. Tell the mother that it's categorically untrue, only your daughter is upset at you because of recent events.

Tell your ex that you'd appreciate it if the two of you can discuss this, and ask whether she believes your daughter or not, and that if the police get involved you all could get sucked into an investigation that will hurt the whole family. You need to gauge where the mother is at on this topic.

If your ex is going to side with your daughter then there's little you can do, but you can protect yourself somewhat by calling the child welfare authorities yourself and telling them what's going on, it may be that the mother has already called or the child has. See a criminal lawyer about how to handle the police.

If your ex is going to stay neutral or realizes that the daughter's claim is bogus and potentially very damaging then you and your mother will have to confront your daughter together to make her stop, since your joint custodial parents.

Does that make sense?

Customer
it does.
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Ulysses101, Expert

You can't really sue your sixteen year old and seek an injunction that she not make such accusations.

This is a family issue, for the moment.

I hope you find a resolution. I'll be here if you want to talk more about it or have more information to share.

Good luck and stay safe.

Ulysses

Customer
Thank you. You, too.
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Ulysses101, Expert

You're very welcome.

No need to reply unless there's more to discuss, or else the question stays on my "waiting for a response" list. Thanks again for the question and thank you for coming to JustAnswer.

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