I have sole custody of my children since 2014 due to 2 assault charges against my ex-husband towards his oldest son and

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Customer: I have sole custody of my children since 2014 due to 2 assault charges laid against my ex-husband towards his oldest son and now served papers from ex wanting sole custody of his boys
JA: Are there any allegations of drug, alcohol, or financial problems?
Customer: parenting allegations towards me where I have evidence of doctors, CAS involvement, youth craigwood home crisis strategies from the ex husband using the kids to get back at me for the court order emotional abuse involved manipulation used by him 2 kids 13 and 15 now
JA: Are there allegations of physical or emotional danger to your children?
Customer: emotional danger to the children to live healthy positive relationships with people and towards women. I am not willing to give up my sole custody of my children and here to protect them from a controlling parent
JA: Anything else you want the Lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: yes he has served me papers due date October 13 2020 need a response but now sending me another set of papers that I have agreed to look at as I don’t want to take the kids to court. I know their wants and needs. My youngest has a MID 13 years old but 10 years in mind and my ex lives with another woman that I don’t even no and her son . He is asking for me to pay child support to him if he gets sole custody he is behind in child support payment 4 months in fro has never given me notice of assessments which is in court order and says he only makes 22, 000, 28,000, 28,000 in last 3 years and my child support payments were based on proof from marriage bank account of 54 000 per year at 800 per month and this was an uncontested trial cause he didn’t bother to show up. 2015 final order. He has limitations on of visitation on court order and since Covid he has taken advantage of my kindness and grooming my boys against me especially youngest and allowing my 15 year old swing doors both ways . I have never had him in my corner to coparent and he wants 1/2 or joint custody on next set of served papers he is given me and I am not allowing that due to his actions and hidden agendas. He has now told my children about court proceedings are going to take place and what their for and interfering in my relationship with my boys. I have reached out to crisis lines police but they informed me I needed an enforcement clause on my court order for them to return the kids to me. My ex feels he can pick up the kids and pick them up come to my house whenever he feels like it and doesn’t communicate with me gives parental decisions to the kids cause they are of age to make their own devision. not following court order since kids of gotten back to school. My ex has been trying to control me or has for 15 years and now going through the kids to get back at me
Answered by Debra in 1 hour 1 year ago
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Debra
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Debra
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10+ years of experience
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Debra
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164660 Satisfied customers

Jessica

Jessica

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Customer
Need to know if this is Ontario law
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Debra, Expert

Hello and Welcome to JustAnswer. My name is***** will be working on your question today and I am looking forward to our conversation.

Customer
Ok
Customer
Hi
Customer
Are you an Ontario lawyer
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Debra, Expert

I am sorry to hear of this difficult situation.

I am a retired family lawyer in Toronto.

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Debra, Expert

Please give me the time I need to read your very long post.

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Debra, Expert

Are you saying that now your 15-year-old wants to live with him full-time? And what about your 13-year-old?

Customer
13 year old wants to live with him full time who is registered in grade 8 I EP in place support teachers and has been diagnosed with MID mild intellect disability 13 years old mind of a 10 year old and 15 year old wants to live with me buts wants to see his dad whenever he wants which I don't have a problem with?
Customer
The father is behind in FRO payments and is all about the money not the kids best interest. I want my 13 year old to finish his grade 8 year here in strathroy which makes more sense then move in with his dad if he chooses in summer and start grade***** Thomas the dad is persisting now and is making allegations that I am harming my children with my parenting style of rules of the house and twisting things I have done to make the kids want to stay with him
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Debra, Expert

It is unlikely that the father will be able to succeed based on all of these facts. Not only is he a deadbeat dad who now wants you to pay him support but the facts regarding his assaulting your older son and his lack of involvement until a short while ago speak a lot about who he is and will show the court that it will not be in the best interest of your children to live with their father half the time and certainly not all of the time.

While it is true that a 13-year-olds can usually make decisions themselves in terms of where they want to live because there is no way to force them to live where they don't want to live when your child is mentally disabled it is possible to get a court order that could even be made police enforceable and that is what you should be doing.

The 13-year-old is not mentally competent to make decisions the way other 13-year-olds are and this is going to be key so you were going to need ample medical expert evidence.

Your very best next step, without a doubt, is to retain a family lawyer.

What you can do to find a lawyer is one of the following things.

You can contact the Law Society and use their Lawyer Referral Service. You will be given the name of a lawyer and can consult with the lawyer and the first half hour will be free.

Here is a link to the site:

https://lsrs.lso.ca/lsrs/welcome

Or you can check on a site called lexpert. This is a legal directory of leading lawyers and law firms throughout Canada and is well-respected by the legal community.

Here's the link to their website:

http://www.lexpert.ca/directory/find-lawyers-or-law-firms/

Does that help as a starting point?

Customer
He undermines everything I do and has never supported me when it co
Customer
mes to parenting. He sent my son 15 year old an inappropriate text
Customer
of girls fondling their breast and at the end of video clip touchin
Customer
g vagina which I saw on my sons phone when he was sleeping one nigh
Customer
t! Working with crisis line craigwood with youth Counsellor son pho
Customer
ne during Covid suggest I call CAS in st. Thomas where child was wh
Customer
en I called informed me to contact police and sluffed it off as str
Customer
ange behaviour of a parent to do contacted CAS but no charges laid
Customer
which I didn't want cause the kids blame me for wanting to get thei
Customer
r dad in trouble but me as a protective parent. Since Covid 19 and
Customer
work with him and masonry and due to boys not getting along all the
Customer
closing of school in March my youngest wanted to go to his dad and
Customer
time oldest stayed here and young went there. It was suppose to be
Customer
for a few weeks then it became longer and oldest video gaming at h
Customer
ome online learning began and the father would not return my son an
Customer
d I called my Counsellor personal and she said maybe he just wants
Customer
to spend time with his identifing as local loves his trade and havi
Customer
ng time. Took it of that kept communications open gave teacher comm
Customer
unication to father and common law spouse was helping Logan with sc
Customer
hool work and teacher informed me at start going well perceptive th
Customer
en communication stopped with teacher and not getting work done. I
Customer
am a dental office manager working remotely from home by computer m
Customer
y boss and patients during epedemic and teacher and support teacher
Customer
we're keeping me in loop and assignments not being done so went on
Customer
bench mark at time. In the mean time I was in touch with Malcolm’s
Customer
oldest grade 9 teacher to stay on top of him getting his online wo
Customer
rk done as he was gaming a lot staying up and not getting work done
Customer
until I said your not going to pass if you don't bring up marks to
Customer
ok. Informed him no gaming interment privledges away until he worke
Customer
d on assignments then it started him going back to dads. Mom has ru
Customer
les and if they don't abide by them privledges get taken away. The
Customer
father informed me Logan is 13 now and if he doesn't want to come h
Customer
ome he doesn't have too so it's up to him even tho he new the court
Customer
order of every other weekend and started to take advantage of my k
Customer
indness and so kept communications open but had a gut feeling when
Customer
calling my Counsellor he was grooming them against mother and my ki
Customer
ds started to talk about child support and taking them away from th
Customer
eir father at a young age and I knew their father started to talk a
Customer
bout adult conversation. When finally they wanted to see me the fat
Customer
her tried to control pick up and drop off which I said there is no
Customer
reason for you to come to my house or mine yours unless it's an eme
Customer
rgency. Once they left Malcolm 15 yr old dad won't meet you you hav
Customer
e to come to st. Thomas to pick me up the father was not returning
Customer
my text and I was having to go through children by the coaching of
Customer
my Counsellor who are in the process of doing up documents. The CAS
Customer
gave me custody of my children 2014 2015 divorced final with child
Customer
support in place. Father had 2 assults against my oldest child 15
Customer
yr 2011 and 2012. Court Order stated custody to me no over nights u
Customer
ntil anger management certificate clear then have been overnight al
Customer
ternate weekends for 5 years now. He has had them for a week at a t
Customer
ime if I have been away on a trip my sister wedding in Jamaica week
Customer
at Xmas took a trip for myself over New Years this year. Always ga
Customer
ve them the option with a relative or dad. Always dad. He bag an to
Customer
show up at my house when not at home with kids in my house when I
Customer
am not there. Informed him not allowed unless I am home. Thinks he
Customer
can come and go as he pleases . Finally changed locks no keys to ki
Customer
ds this summer cause if I was out or away home town Brantford see m
Customer
y family as my mom has Alzheimer's and I help out and they don't wa
Customer
nt to come home cause he has sabotaged that as well. I have a teena
Customer
ger who can not stay at home alone unsupervised as he had friends o
Customer
ver once broke 4 of my windows downstairs a year ago gave proper po
Customer
sitive parenting took away Xbox phone then dad turns around and buy
Customer
s him a phone. Kids calling the house a piece of shit. Oh it's a lo
Customer
t to put down. Hopefully your getting the just of it all. I pulled
Customer
records from police since 2012 until now 43 reports not all from fa
Customer
mily but most of calls I have made cause I have had slot of negativ
Customer
e back lash in behaviour from boys over the years since 2015 court
Customer
order 2016 vanier involvement in house crisis to get control over k
Customer
ids behaviour as when they came back from dads it was always a stru
Customer
ggle but once settled in few days it got better! Positive parenting
Customer
program with my oldest 15 year old . The father is a big name call
Customer
er to his children and anybody and me inappropriate language abusiv
Customer
e really. Have all docs of consistent communication reaching out to
Customer
others to help my children and behaviour . Hope this helps oh yeah
Customer
right now his financial situation his common law spouse broke her
Customer
legs of a porch they told me got fired from her job can't collect e
Customer
mployment and dad pays for everything on 22 ooo dollars a year. He
Customer
has since sent me a text if a bully text I sign the papers that wil
Customer
l arriving soon agree to it on 1/2 custody I take the oldest child
Customer
he takes the youngest no child support for either one of us. 50/50.
Customer
I called him a week ago left message on machine to talk about the
Customer
situation to call me regarding 50/50 and never did and he informed
Customer
the boys of my call and informed my oldest that I would be getting
Customer
served and has spoken to the boys about all of it and I shut them d
Customer
own by saying this is between me and your dad not you and both say
Customer
it's about us. I inform them they are not adults right now and it's
Customer
between me and your dad. The father was called Thursday night by m
Customer
y son because I was going to take him off on the internet from poor
Customer
choice of words and telling me I better sign the new papers his da
Customer
d is sending or u can F off and dad has paid his lawyer 300 $ to do
Customer
this then father gets on the phone Logan youngest put him on speak
Customer
ng and it was full/ not working, calling me names crazy bitch, thre
Customer
er and basically called me every name in book thought I was recordi
Customer
atening to take my children away from me and crawl back under the r
Customer
ock I came from and when you die no one will come to your funeral.
Customer
I was warming up dinner and cause I didn't say anything only at sta
Customer
rt I am not talking about this in front of Logan and he piped up th
Customer
ey already know. Stayed quiet! My youngest son hung up the phone sa
Customer
id goodbye to his dad and I love u to him. Then turned around and s
Customer
aid to his mom .... dad is lying about one thing there I would go t
Customer
o your funeral cause I love you. I said I know you do and I am very
Customer
upset right now need to go get gas for tomorrow and will be right
Customer
back. Wanted to check my phone to see if it recorded but didn't the
Customer
n reached out distraught to WRRC for some sense of it all spoke to
Customer
o me instead by mistake she has probably gone to tell someone or he
Customer
a friend. Finally came home and My son texted his dad and sent it t
Customer
r lawyer.That day this past thursday sept 24 got a call from the
Customer
school my Logan youngest had sniffles and cough and wanted to be s
Customer
ent hone not feeling well. They called me at work then agreed he wa
Customer
s old enough to walk home. Then received a call from ex did not pic
Customer
k up phone. Until I heard his message that he said Logan was upset
Customer
he could call his dad and teachers were yelling at him which was no
Customer
t true and since then they spoke to Logan about incident. He was go
Customer
ing to pick up my son so I contacted local police informed them of
Customer
school sent home and want to make sure Logan gets home safely stays
Customer
home now in quarantine until I arrive home and take him for cv-19
Customer
testing. Informed officer my ex is wanting to pick him up against m
Customer
y wishes since I have custody he needs to abide by them . He took L
Customer
ogan's cell # down spoke to him officer was informed of papers I wa
Customer
s served and him knowing Logan wants to live with dad. He called me
Customer
back home safe and informed me he wants to live with his dad which
Customer
I already know and informed my son I have no problem with that unt
Customer
il you finish your school year year then start fresh into high scho
Customer
ol. It wasn't an option until his father has been talking to him al
Customer
l about this. The police took ex name called him I guess as I found
Customer
out that evening over speaker phone that the officer informed him
Customer
that the kids wishes in court usually get to live with the parent t
Customer
hey want at this age. He said all this on my sons phone the night h
Customer
e threaten for me to sign papers.He also said to my son he will
Customer
be picking him up Friday after Covid testing against my wishes.I
Customer
sent a text to my ex from work that day that my son was not suppos
Customer
e to be picked up. He sent this: Never mind telling me what to do ,
Customer
just get them tested ! Or I’ll make sure they both live with me an
Customer
t itYesterday Friday am took my youngest son to testing. I am a h
Customer
d you pay me child support so you better sign the paper when you ge
Customer
ealth care provider so chose to take it too.I informed my son t
Customer
o stay home and new I was against his dad to pick him up as he need
Customer
s 24 hrs of negative test and received a call his father picked him
Customer
up. Now I am here with you
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Debra, Expert

I am not sure why you just posted dozens of texts. They are completely illegible as they are totally broken up and possibly out of order. I honestly have no idea.

The experts don't text. If you have a follow-up question please let me know what it is in a couple of sentences.

Customer
Since I have sole custody now. What’s the disadvantage I have if I agree to 1/2 custody
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Debra, Expert

Well you won't have the kids all the time and child-support will become an issue.

Customer
Right I have been able to sustain my home I own and pay bills and provide for my kids so not worried about support. Can they impute his income. I know he doesn't make 22,000 per year when he is supporting common law spouse and buying kids expensive things and paying them for masonry jobs he has that's for sure?? I have not seen any notice of assessments in 5 years which is in court order
Customer
He is $4000 dollars behind with FRO
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Debra, Expert

Yes they will most assuredly imputed income.

Customer
Ok thanks!
Customer
What should I be paying per hour for a lawyer here in Ontario if I don't qualify for a legal aid certificate
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Debra, Expert

Lawyers' hourly rates vary drastically. You'll just have to find one that you can afford.

Customer
Ok thank you!
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Debra, Expert

Are very welcome.

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Debra, Expert

Thank you for trusting us to help you here at JustAnswer. If you have any follow-up questions, or need clarity on anything we went over today, please feel free to let me know-I am happy to help!

Customer
Ok thanks Debra I appreciate it!
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Debra, Expert

Anytime.

Customer
I wanted to ask you in regards ***** ***** expert evidence regarding his MID. This diagnosis was done with in school board. Do I need to go to his doctor now?
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Debra, Expert

No you don't need something from your doctor if you had an assessment done by the school board. They use their own psychologist.

Customer
Ok thank you!
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Debra, Expert

You are very welcome.

Customer
My ex picked up my son against my wishes Friday after a Covid test since he was sent home day before for sniffles and a cough texted father not to pick up son cause in quarantine and I dropped son off home to go back to work and Logan called me from phone that he is with his dad and still is. No results yet on test. What are my rights?
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Debra, Expert

The problem you have is it your kids want be with their dad so you're going to need a lawyer to assert your rights.

Customer
Only the youngest does and has school that starts tomorrow and my child contacted me to say he is staying with his dad until he gets results from Covid 19. I want to text my ex and tell him I am picking up my son tonight? I have that right? Is it in my best interest to not contact him at this time?
Customer
I am contacting a lawyer tomorrow
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Debra, Expert

Yes I would do that if I were you. You should take the child home if you can.

Customer
I tried but he didn’t. The father said whatever Logan wants.
Customer
Since this week I have been spoke to my Councilor and found a lawyer. See her October 9 th and getting extension on court date. Ex filed August 12 2020 to courts received my papers middle of September. Informed me I can do this?
Customer
Last night received another letter from his lawyer saying I had discussions with my ex on settling out of court. Which I had no discussion with him he just took a vague phone message I left on his phone to talk about 50/50 twisted it around in his own head even when I asked him to contact me and didn’t and put a new settlement minutes to 1/2 custody of kids. Oldest stay with me younger stay with him me hand over birth certificate health card within 48 hrs Logan gets reinstated into st. Thomas school another school) He owes me no child support since April 2020. His lawyer inform me to contact her start of week as court day is October 13 2020. Do I still wait to October 9 th for lawyer or contact lawyer regarding letter! ?
Customer
I am not agreeing to 1/2 custody!
Customer
Until I know all of my rights
Customer
I want my son to finish his grade 8 year! My ex has picked up my youngest son after school again cause my ex sent me a text to inform me he left the lawyer papers with Malcolm my oldest at the house. Sent by text.
Customer
My youngest was in tears Thursday night knowing about these papers by father! Wanting me to sign them pleading as the father has been on him mentally and very upset about this my heart is hurting for him and me big time!!!
Customer
Now his dad has him again this weekend. Feeding on him I have a late text saying: Hey did you get the letter it’s just like what you said in your message right do you agree with it Mom thanks for talking to my teacherIs this emotional abuse!? I haven’t responded.
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