I am looking for advice regarding divorce in Ontario. No children, I left 8 years ago and he refused to come to the

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Customer: Hi, I am looking for advice regarding divorce in Ontario.
JA: What are the assets involved here? Are there any minor children?
Customer: No children, I left 8 years ago and he refused to come to the table when I applied for separation. Now he wants to start divorce proceedings as he wants to remarry He is a union construction worker, and an AZ driver.
JA: Have you talked to a lawyer about this yet?
Customer: No not since I tried to do separation 7 years ago
JA: Anything else you want the Lawyer to know before I connect you?
Customer: He cut me off benefits, never offered alimony, and feels I should not get anything. We were together 18 years, married for 9 yrs and 11 months. He was physically sexually abusive and emotionally abusive for the last 2 years of our marriage.
Answered by Timothy in 22 mins 2 years ago
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Timothy
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Timothy, Expert

Hi. My name is ***** ***** I am a lawyer from Ontario. I have read over your intial messages. What exactly is it that I can answer for you?

Customer
I am wondering what recourse I have in regards ***** ***** He refused to come to the table when I went for separation and the lawyer at that time said there was nothing I could do. Obviously time frame for alimony is up but am I not entitled to anything - back support, pension benefits, cpp credits. When we were together I paid off his child support including back child support, was basically a single parent raising two children because we had gotten him the schooling for his AZ license and he was a long haul driver for many years. I am just trying to figure out what options are open to me.
He contacted me through his new girlfriend on Facebook after not speaking too each other in over 6 years to ask for my address so he can start divorce proceedings.
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Timothy, Expert

Firstly, the issue of spousal support is not dead. He may still have a support obligation and may have an obligation to spousal support arrears. Do not write off spousal support. Now that he wants a divorce, you can use this to negotiate again and bring him back to the table. You can also try doing mediation to help resolve outstanding issues. If he refuses and just serves you with a divorce application, you can dispute the divorce and seek to resolve the outstanding issues in court. Alternatively, you can also commence your own application to deal with support, property division and whatever else remains outstanding. This would mean that he cannot get the divorce until the application is resolved.

These are your main options to deal with this. If there are issues you need addressed, just make sure you respond to a divorce application if you are served with one. Does this answer your question or is there more I can do to clarify?

Customer
Thank you for your help.and hope with this. Unfortunately I have to leave for work right now. If I have more questions can I message again?
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Timothy, Expert

You can message me if you need anything clarified. If you have a completely different question, I invite you to post a question on a different topic to the JustAnswer community. When I have satisfactorily answered you question, please take a moment ot leave me a five star rating so I can continue to provide service to other clients.

Customer
I do still have some questions specifically to this but I have to go to work for 4 hrs.
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Timothy, Expert

Ok. Feel free to ask them when you are done work and I will answer them as soon as I am able.

Customer
Thank you for your help. I guess one of my main questions is should I provide him with my address and can I specify that it not be his future wife who serves me?
Or should I request that he meet me in a public place to discuss what he is offering and give him my address that way? I am just very unsure as he flat out refused to give me anything because I left - he said my leaving meant I was not entitled to anything from him.
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Timothy, Expert

He is supposed to use an unrelated person to serve you and not his girlfriend. If you bring an application, you will have to disclose your address. It would seem that you might be best to try and use a third party mediation service or just commence an application. You can try to meet him in a neutral, public place to see how he reacts to the suggestions. If he flat out refuses to do anything, your only option will be to start a court application.

Customer
Could I not bring up the support and pension if I dispute his application for a divorce?
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Timothy, Expert

Can certainly dispute his divorce application. You would be best to take the initiative to bring an application for everything BUT divorce but you don't have to
Customer
I tried that 7 years ago when I went for separation though and he just refused to provide his financials and didn't respond to the lawyer after that. He then sent me a message saying the only way I would get a divorce or separation was when he is ready to remarry. Besides I no longer have an address for him, I didn't even have the right phone number anymore apparently as the number I was given as his is not the one I had.
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Timothy, Expert

There are ways a lawyer can track him. He may not have wanted to negotiate but you don't need him to negotiate in court. If you know where he works that information can be ordered. Same with tax info. That said, if he wants his divorce he will have to play ball or the court won't give it to him. As I said, you can wait till he serves you.
Customer
Ok thank you so much for your patience and time with helping me on this. I really appreciate your being candid about all my options.
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Timothy, Expert

Happy help. I would appreciate your 5 star rating. If you need clarification please feel free to ask.
Customer
Oh absolutely I will be giving a 5 star!! Thank you again.
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