I have addiction disorder and had been clean for 7.5 years and recently relapsed around april 20th 2020. I called

Customer: Second opinion] Hello my name is***** have addiction disorder and had been clean for 7.5 years and recently relapsed around april 20th 2020. I called St.Pauls hospital ahead of time and they said I needed a referral from the DR first. Upon arrival i felt very uncomfortable you could visible see that I was up for days and sick and detoxing from GHB. They registered me asked me what I had been using and for how long at least three times in a row before I told them I was really uncomfortable. The judgement in the face was very recognizable. I had not eaten in days and there was no "compassion" or "its going to be okay deep breaths"We register I go and sit down and ask for water and they wanted a urine sample. At this time I had told the er nurse that I felt very judged and that they had no compassion and that they barely said a word to me. And in a way felt discriminated because im an "addict" withdrawing from large amounts of GHB that you can die from. She said "Sorry you feel that way" but the level of care is not standardized based off bias. I waited like 1 hour by this time I start shaking and convulsing my muscles were tightening up and I fell to the ground.. Three nurses walked by and not one of them asked me if I was okay.. they brought me 1mg of ativan.. which did nothing..At this point this nurse was visibly upset that I said I would complain about how the standard of care should be the same straight across the board. They said we have tonnes of training on addiction and I said than why was there lack of emotional support which is foundational when going through a crisis. She said you can see the addiction worker and I said I called ahead and they said I needed a referral and I didn't say a word back cause i needed time to think. At this point 3-4 patient went ahead of me into beds while I sat there visibility uncomfortable dripping sweat and heart rate at 190-222 from my own calculation. after again asking when the DR would come she was like okay so you deny services to see addiction specialist as she walked away to the DR. I yelled back and said No I didnt and I have it on recording. So the DR came and at this point they said delete all of the videos you took (of there negligence) of the nurse its illegal. But I felt very unsafe, very judged. So I needed proof because this is why addicts leave back to the streets and they die. I said its actually not illegal. The whole experience was humiliating and I'm very upset cause next they removed me from the ER there was like 6 security guards and I'M NOT A VIOLENT PERSON. I wanted help to stop.. first the withdrawl than I could think properly when I stood up my legs started shaking violently...They just stood there and watched me.. didnt offer help or anything I was put in a far corner where security could see me and gave me two 1mg ativan which did not stop the tremors and tightening of my muscles heart rate.. I think I was severely dehydrated.. I waited and another hour.. so three hours total and they send over a addiction worker.. she asked me a few questions cause im still shaking and sweating and having heart palpitations. I just kept trying to deep breaths.. than she says "your not actually withdrawing from GHB" you are just high,, at this point I got up it would take me like 10 seconds to move each leg shaking.. and I said yea ill just go see some random drug dealer I don;T know and get some benzos and continue that lifestyle. I was ready to quit and since then I have had a major resentment against hospital and angry and there was a part of me that felt like i deserved it. So I continued to use. Since then I have been to the hospital atleast 10 others times... sometimes Im fine or my blood pressure is through the roof or im having heart attack symptoms.Or my heart goes into arthymia. Regardless i ended up leaving to my dealers for 4mg of xanax and I was fine... taking shaking step by step I could barely walk while leaving... I just dont believe patient care was important.. because im gay? or because im first nations? or and Active addict.