I filled out a family law matter application. A consented conduct order. Bc canada. My ex is abusibg me thru the courts

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Customer: I filled out a family law matter application
JA: What steps have you taken? Have you filed any papers in family court?
Customer: A consented conduct order
JA: Family law varies by state. What state are you in?
Customer: Bc canada
JA: Is there anything else the Lawyer should know before I connect you? Rest assured that they'll be able to help you.
Customer: My ex is abusibg me thru the courts
Answered by Thom, LLB (JD) in 13 mins 1 year ago
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Thom, LLB (JD)
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Thom, LLB (JD)
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Thom, LLB (JD), Expert

Hi and thank you for using Just Answer.  My name is***** will be assisting you with your question.

Just a general disclaimer that this conversation is for informational purposes only. I am a licensed Canadian lawyer; however, you would need to retain a lawyer to take any legal action and/or preserve any of your legal rights. I may be away from my desk from time to time, but rest assured I will always return back as soon as possible.

Before we get started, can you tell me some more about your situation?  Are there children from the marriage? have you sought spousal support? Have you reached agreements on property division?  Do you have a lawyer?  Is it your position that your husband is using the court process to your detriment?  What do you mean exactly when you say "abusing me thru the courts"?  Sorry for the questions, but the answers will help me better understand your situation and how I can help?  Thanks.  Take your time.

Customer
Thanks for reaching out. I can't chat at the moment but I'll text you back as soon as I can. Thanks.
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Thom, LLB (JD), Expert

No problem.  I am available all day with brief periods offline to be with family etc.  I look forward to our chat.

Customer
Hi
Yes their are children, my ex boyfriend (never married and we never lived together) we have a 7yr old in his care (primary because i had to move due to midnight vandalism that started when court processes started) i have a 17 yr old (sole guardianship in my care) since Sept 2019 my ex has criminalized me due to me slapping him. I Recieved a peacebond (now expired) for one yr thst resulted in me getting supervised visits with my child. Then covid arrived. While this peacebond was in place, my ex filed for everything to do with famiky law and put restrictions on my fiance so hes not allowed around my child. My ex demandec extentions for the peacebond and never Recieved it. In jan this yr mcfd took a backseat on the file and my ex started to withhold visitation. I have a lawyer, this us #4 as they all quit due to frustration of my ex and his sneaky lawyer fiking without notice applications. My ex lies and says im abusive and dangerous andva drug addict to gain custody. He told my family thst waz supervising to f off and said the visits are cancelled forever and im going to jail. He makes up wild stories and convinces tge courts. I recorded my little boy saying his dad calls him a retard and hecwants to come home. I applied for enforcement ofca conduct order andvthe judge just told him to not withhold. But he has continued to withhold as i have not seen my child since July 18,2021. On aug 24,21 he applied and Recieved a protection order against me. We are awaiting a hearing date. I applied to terminate it and itcwill be heard on the 22 of Sept. I agreed last oct thst we could share guardianship. Yestwrday i applied to have thst removed. He forces parenting time and never shows up and cintinued to get police involved for no reason in front of our child. I am stalked, harrassed, and all the windiws in 3 vehicles have been smashed out. My protection order was rejected due to not enouoh evidence.
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Thom, LLB (JD), Expert

As he continues to withhold access in the face of a judge's order that says he cannot, you could immediately bring an application to enforce that parenting order.  As you know, repeated trips to court can be expensive.  In this circumstance coming to any type of agreement with your ex is not going to be feasible.  Perhaps you could suggest using a family justice counsellor (no cost) or a parenting coordinator.  Your ex may not be agreeable, but it will look good on you for having made the suggestion if you have to go to court.  I can give you the contact number for a family justice counsellor.  They can help even one parent who is experiencing the difficulties you are.

I don't know what your living experience is presently, but if you are able, you may want to install cameras outside your home and consult with a women's advocacy group to take other measures to create a safety plan for yourself.  I can give you contact information for these resources as well should you wish. In the meantime establish as much evidence as you can to prove your ex may be behind the vandalism.  Resstriaing and protection orders are effective, but they do make access to the child more difficult.  Any order you can obtain should permit a third party to contact your ex-partner to arrange access.

I know you have been through your share of lawyers.  But they can be helpful in navigating the system in terms of enforcing the order that gives you access.  Unreasonably withholding access can produce a further order from the court to order that your former spouse pay some of the costs associated with your having to make the application to enforce the order.  Courts do not look favourably at parties who unilaterally ignore court orders.  Courts put a great deal of thought into orders before granting them and take umbrage with those who disregard them because they think know better.

You can also discuss with your lawyer and read up on your own on something called parental alienation syndrome.  Courts are considering it more and more.  It's a syndrome whereby one parent attempts to undermine an otherwise healthy parent-child relationship with the other parent to gain control over the entire parenting relationship.

I hope this helps.  I am available for follow-up questions.

Customer
Hevis trying to remove my guardianship
Customer
What kind of evidence should i be lookibg for?
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Thom, LLB (JD), Expert

My understanding is that you have an order that states he cannot withhold access, but that he violates that order repeatedly and makes up stories and accusations that he shares with anyone who will listen.   Why can you not simply return to the court and seek enforcement of the order you already have?

In terms of your guardianship, as the child's mother, you are automatically a guardian.  Only a court order or agreement can remove you as a guardian.  To have you removed as a guardian is a difficult case to prove for your ex.  There would have to be exceptional circumstances.  You would have to pose a physical and/or emotional threat to your child.  He would have to prove that you are unfit and incapable, even with supervision, to continue to have any responsibility for decisions made in your child's interests.  Court-ordered removal of guardianship or parental rights is rare.

I know he has made accusations about drug use etc., but in the absence of proof and harm to the child, he is not likely to succeed.  Do you have people in your life who would speak to your fitness as a mother?  Perhaps, your lawyer would consider having you submit to an interview with a social worker to demonstrate your fitness.

Have you filed police reports regarding this vandalism?  Taken phots etc.?  Thanks.

Customer
i can demonstrate and have people vouche for my parenting abilities. I have returned to court to enforce the order,, all tge judge said was he had to follow the order and he can no withhold.
Also, my ex waz leaving our child at the age if 5 on my doorstep at 7am and driving away. This was 2 yrs ago and was the reason for the smack thst I was given the peacebond for. Can i still file charges against my ex for child endangerment 2 yrs later?
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Thom, LLB (JD), Expert

You are going to have to return to court because he continues to fail to follow the court's order.  You may want to energize your application by seeking primary care for his failures to provide access.  Discuss this with your lawyer and also ask for your costs for having to return to court.

To file charges now would only inflame matters further and would not be, in my view, in the best interests of your child.

Customer
My 17 yr old son fears for our safety and his own. When we are out in town my would see us, and cause a scene by yelling profoundly and insulting remarks at us. My son has witnessed my exs abuse towards me in tge past like threatening to slash my face. Id like to protect my son. Im tbinking of applyibg for a orirection order so that my ex cannot intimidate my son when he is walking to and from the bus or in the stores alone.
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Thom, LLB (JD), Expert

I support that decision. I would encourage you to involve a lawyer if at all possible.

Customer
A separate lawyer for my 17 yr old son?
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Thom, LLB (JD), Expert

No.  It can be the same lawyer.

Customer
Ok. Thank you for all your help
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Thom, LLB (JD), Expert

You're more than welcome.  I wish you the best.  It's a difficult situation. Thanks for chjoosing Just Answer.  Please retunr any time to discuss this and any other matter.  Be well.

Customer
I most definitely will! Thankyou so much
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