Separation questions:- Wife checked herself into a women's refuge 11 days ago because of not feeling safe "emotionally"

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Customer: Separation questions:-Wife checked herself into a women's refuge 11 days ago because of not feeling safe "emotionally" at home and also "felt suicidal". My therapist stated this is abandonment?House(s)?
Today she told me she is done and has already started speaking to legal aid. I have temporarily moved out to a house that I purchased in my name before Christmas. She doesn't currently work, so wouldn't be able to get a mortgage at this time, however she refused to agree to put the house on the market for sale, and said we will leave it to the lawyers to divide the assets? I'm under the understanding that she can't force me to sell the house in my name, but everything would have to equalize out?Process?
What would her lawyer be advising she does first? We are in BC and haven't been separated for a year so can't file for divorce?International Vacation?
Can i legally take the kids out of the country without needing her consent to their home country? (or at least 2 out of the 3 kids it would be classed as their country of birth).Mental Health / Interim Custody
I asked my question on justanswer the other day about her moving out for her mental health and got told i could have good grounds for interim custody? But then local lawyers said it isn't that simple.Thanks
Answered by Legal Ease in 5 mins 1 year ago
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Jessica

Jessica

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Legal Ease, Expert

Hello and Welcome to JustAnswer. My name is***** will be working on your question today and I am looking forward to our conversation.

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Legal Ease, Expert

I helped you the other day. Would you like me to continue or were you hoping for a second opinion?

Customer
please continue, thanks
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Legal Ease, Expert

If the house isn't in your name then she doesn't share in the house. She shares in the value of the house. So she can never force you to sell the house. You would be paying her an equalization payment if you have more assets than she has at the end of the day.

You would need sole custody or an order allowing you to travel with the children outside of the country if she doesn't consent.

Nothing is simple but it's not uncommon for a court to say that until a parent who has been talking about suicide is clearly much better they can't have the children alone. It's just common sense. As I recall she was saying that she didn't want the children and even left that nursing little boy who had his birthday and who was up every two hours with you because he didn't have his mom in his bed to nurse him back to sleep. In my mind that's a very troubling sign about the mom as I am sure I mentioned last time.

I must help 100 customers a day on the site and I've been working on the site for over 12 years and so usually I don't remember what the customer's fact situation is when they come back for a second question but in your case because of the situation that you described I actually can't forget it.

Customer
Thank you, ***** ***** in Canada? Are you based in BC? Is there any possibility you could help me with applying for interim custody or things I need in a cost effective way? She is already steps ahead of me with legal aid :(
As it currently stands do i need her consent to leave the country with them if she hasn't said I can't?What do you think legal-aid will be advising? She blames her inability to function as a parent / be herself on our "relationship" and also blames this for not being able to return home. She is on anti-depressants and isn't sleeping properly, we share the same netflix account so we can see our activity and she has been binge watching shows in this refuge whilst leaving me to look after the kids - she argues this is being responsible for herself and that she will be just fine alone with the kids.She wants to see them tomorrow and everything is just up in the air and so difficult.
Customer
House question:
The new house which is just in my name is ***** ***** and the kids reside. She has stated that she is coming here tomorrow to visit the kids but currently I don't want that while this is so raw and i still have lots of other things to sort out.
Can she legally enter this home (even though her kids are here) without my permission as the property isn't in her name?
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Legal Ease, Expert

Yes of course I'm in Canada but I'm actually in Toronto and retired.

Legal aid is just going to find a lawyer. Then her lawyer will be a family lawyer and will explain the law to her and explain she needs to become mentally and emotionally sound.

The lawyer will also tell her to move back home at once.

He would be sad to be committing parental abduction if you left and didn't come back. If you're only going for a visit home and can show that you are coming back it's not parental abduction. You could be asked for a permission to travel letter at the border.

It's her matrimonial home and she has an equal right to possess the home unless you get an order giving you exclusive possession of the home.

I really think that you need to try to retain your own lawyer as soon as possible. This is a very, very difficult situation.

Customer
if she returns to the home which is in joint names (now i have moved out with the kids) will the fact she left the home for 11 days, telling me she has no plans to return etc and everything I have shared still work against her from an abandonment point of view?
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Legal Ease, Expert

She abandoned the children which is the main point.

Customer
even if you have depression, "feel suicidal" and so you use that as the reason to leave the home (obviously she is blaming me for this) it is still considered abandonment? Sorry it is a repetitive question.
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Legal Ease, Expert

She left the kids. She abandoned the kids. She handed you saw custody of the kids. It doesn't matter the reason.

Customer
Ok so with her current health issues (which she blames on the relationship) should i refuse her unsupervised visits? She has told me that I can't stop her from seeing the kids without a court order.
Customer
Also regarding the current joint named home that we share, do we have to wait for the lawyers to tell us to sell the home / court order? or the fact she doesn't have a job currently so wouldn't be able to get a mortgage mean that she should be reasonable to put the house on the market because she is refusing to do that and just saying we will let the lawyers decide.
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Legal Ease, Expert

I don't think you should make any decisions at all before you retain your own lawyer. Family law is extremely complex and you aren't able to decide without having an expert inform your decisions.

She has presented as being mentally unstable so you should refuse her unsupervised visits. She has abandoned the children and so you have what is called de facto sole custody. The law is that In the absence of an agreement or order the parent with whom the child lives has custody.

Customer
Thank you, ***** ***** able to confirm my rights with 'de facto sole custody' please in BC?Also I have started moving furniture out of the joint house into the new house (where I am residing with the kids). I'm assuming that is okay because she isn't living there currently, has abandoned us and I need to provide/look after the kids which requires us having beds, a couch etc
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Legal Ease, Expert

This is the law in BC and you have no choice. She abandoned the home and the kids. You need furniture for the kids.

Customer
What visitation rights does she have with me having de facto custody? Does she need my permission? Does need to plan visits which I am told is best for the kids. Thanks for any help
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Legal Ease, Expert

You are in charge for now. She should not move in an out of the kids' lives in an unpredictable way. They need security and stability and consistency.

Customer
I plan to start the process to apply for interim custody on Tuesday, hope it works out for us because I strongly believe they are better off living with me with the mental health issues she has.
Customer
How do I apply for child's benefits tax currently without a separation agreement or anything officially confirmed that I have the kids living with me?
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Legal Ease, Expert

I think you have to wait until you have an order or agreement or at least until some time has passed. I am not sure you can do this so quickly.

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Legal Ease, Expert

Thank you for trusting us to help you here at JustAnswer. If you would like to ask me new questions please start a new post and if you do if you say “This is only for Debra” I will be sure to give your post top priority.

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