With regards to my earlier case I spoke about, I am the applicant looking for proper access of my child. Originally we

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Customer: With regards ***** ***** earlier case I spoke about,
I am the applicant looking for proper access of my child.
Originally we had a sep agreement stating that while she was an infant I would visit at the mother's home and build up to me taking the child out on my own and then having her overnight etc once she is old enough at the mom's discretion.Once that time came she denied me my proper parenting time and wanted to only continue the visits at her home supervised by her. This went on for months before I was forced to file for court as my daughter is 3 now and it's time to spend alone time with her father.Once I did this she refused to allow me to visit at all. I resorted to phone calls which I got very few of but my daughter seemed to do well with them and had fun talking to me.My ex tried to convince me to cancel court a few times saying she would drag it out, discredit me and make life hell for me. Once I pushed the fact that I was not backing down from the court proceedings the phone calls with my daughter changed quite a bit. My daughter became very silent and my ex began claiming she is horrified of me and doesn't want me in her life. I am worried she has started coaching my daughter as we had a great relationship until I began the court case.In addition, in her answer to the court case she claims during our marriage I was unstable and violent and should not be around children and wants me permanently removed from my daughters life. She included several disturbing violent stories which came as a shock to me since they never happened. I have no criminal record and the instances she is speaking about are either completely fictional or based on real occurrences/arguments that are being modified/changed to be violent or much more involved than they were including drug abuse and alcoholism.When I give the clerk my papers tomorrow for my first appearance do I need to include a response/defense to her allegations against me and my concerns about her coaching my daughter? Or is that for the case conference after? I have a fair bit of proof to show that she is lying about things including contradicting texts and recorded phone calls and don't know if I need to bring that forward tomorrow or just in the future. This is the most important thing in my life and I wish I could afford a lawyer, I really appreciate any advise on what steps I need to take. Thanks!
Answered by ulysses101 in 2 hours 1 year ago
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ulysses101, Expert

Thank you for the question, I'm sorry that your litigation has taken a turn to the sour. Frankly, I'm not surprised and I see it all the time.

Here's the best news I've been able to give to someone all day:

You already have a court order, made after separation. Evidence of what happened prior to the court order is ancient history. She already agreed to the order, and now she doesn't like it even though you've played by the rules for the past few years. So she's trying to sling a bunch of mud and see what sticks. Unless she has some evidence tying the allegations to the supposed independent wishes of a three year old who now suddenly doesn't even want to be on the phone with you, that information is worse than useless.

In fact, she's obviously desperate and is now making things up. If she's really over the top, this actually helps you. At the appearance, suggest that if she's going to be so obvious about her attempts at alienation that you should be seeking custody of the child, and ask the court about the fastest way to get some enforceable in-person time with your daughter, whether it's supervised or police assisted, whatever. So honestly, this nonsense by her is very likely to help you.

Does that make sense? I'm here if you have further information, or wish to discuss this topic any further.

Customer
That is good news. It is very disconcerting being alone dealing with this case when she is doing things like this.There is no evidence as most of what she claims is unfounded. the only thing she accused me of (which is only one amongst many unfounded things) that is based on truth, but she changed it around and made it sound a lot different than what actually happened, was a situation where things got heated when we were married and I am not willing to escalate things with our daughter around. I had read somewhere in a book about depression and anxiety a story about a woman talking to her theropist about being embarassed that her husband went out into the yard and broke a rake on a tree after bottling up his emotions during a disagreement with her. The theropist told her would you rather be embarassed or have your husband have a heart attack?Well that day was probably the worst disagreement we had ever had. So I went outside and whacked a 2x4 onto the deck of my trailer. Didn't make me feel in any way "vented" so I left. When I drove away I was speeding and an off duty police officer stopped me. He had a report made about what went down.We had just come home with the newborn and had not slept in 3 days and signed a waiver to leave and come home early to rest at home. When we arrived home to my surprise her sister, mother, and brother were all in my house. I had never held my child yet and my wife had said they were not coming that day. They proceeded to pass the baby around. I mentioned this is bad timing and we need some space to settle in and I have not even held my own child yet and she hasent fed yet. Her family told me I would be begging them to take her soon so back off. I asked them to come back later they declined. I approached her brother and asked him again to leave. He finally did. This led to me going outside and speeding away to where the off duty officer stopped me. He came to the house and my mother in law answered. The officer said do you live here. She said "I gave the down payment on the house" He repeated do you live here. She replied it's my house. He stated if you don't reside here and Brian has asked you to leave then you need to leave. She finally complied. He asked my ex if she was safe etc behind closed doors. This was when I realized our marriage was over and I needed to find a way to leave her.Her account is that I was verbally abusing them so loudly inside the house that an off duty officer came from down the st to make sure she was safe and had me removed. Not at all what happened. Also claims it was only her mother there not brother and sister! I will be requesting a copy of this police report at this point now that she has attempted to twist that against me as well.I appreciate your input earlier, it took a lot of anxiety off of me. I have never been so serious about anything in my life as I am about my child and this is honestly very hard for me to deal with when I don't understand why this is all being done this way other than selfishness of my ex. It hurts. Badly and I miss my daughter and worry about her. Nice to have an ear to talk to that is qualified to listen! Thanks.
Customer
that is the only accusation she made that is even remotely close to based on anything and the rest is as you say mud to see what sticks. I am hoping that by getting this police report I can have evidence of her twisting the story and lying.
Customer
Do I need to give the clerk in my first appearance that police report if I want to use it in court? I have my first appearance in an hour.
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ulysses101, Expert

If that all occurred prior to the existing final order, then just say that her allegations are neither reliable nor relevant, and refer to events from prior to this order. Her allegations are not evidence of your fitness but rather her attempt to alienate the child from you and smear you to the court.

Make sense?

Customer
I think so.
I have a follow up question but I would like to rate you first. I'll post again with your name
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ulysses101, Expert

I'd appreciate if you started a new thread addressed to me. Good luck today!

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